Jarvis Slacks
News Rodeo! Public Option! We are broke! Fox News sucks!
Welcome to another News Rodeo! Stop the Bull spit and start the pit! Actually, instead of “spit”, it is supposed to be another word that ends in “i” and “T”. But my Mom sometimes reads this. Hey, Mom! I love you! Let’s get to the news, brother! Are you unemployed? Yes? Well, then you fit … Read more
Fox News and President Obama
I watch Fox every day. Shush. Don’t tell anyone. But I do. I watch Glenn Beck. I watch Hannity. I watch Bill O’Reilly. I do this because Fox news hates President Obama. But let’s not be one sided. President Obama hates Fox news. Oh, and let’s keep it straight. I hate Fox news too. I … Read more
Let’s go Jogging with Heather Graham
Insurance companies suck. I mean, how often do you even use it! And when you use it, they don’t want to pay you! That’s why we need stuff to happen. That’s right. We need to make Insurance companies illegal. Until that happens, we need to go jogging with Heather Graham. Why? Cause she’s hot. Duh.
3 Storyline Ideas for the Next Revamped Star Trek
Yeah, I know the Revamped Star Trek just came out over the summer. But the DVD is coming out in a few weeks, and I will use any excuse I can find to write about Kirk’s Mission to boldly go places. Here’s what J. J. Abrams has to say about the future of the Enterprise … Read more
Life After the MFA: The Final Exam
This tickles me everytime I read it. I have no idea where it came from, but it’s awesome. Read on: At Penn State University, there were four sophomores taking chemistry and all of them had an ‘A’ so far. These four friends were so confident that, the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some … Read more
G20 police-men force Arrested kid to pose for picture. Reason #765 why people don’t trust cops.
Yes. The Police have a really tough job. They get shot at. And people don’t really like them too much because cops won’t let us do fun things like drive drunk, drive while texting or, you know, break into houses and steal stuff. So, yes, sometimes cops get a bad break. Other times, they stupid … Read more
Cavemen could out run and jump us. But could they text?
Do you think you are tough because you can get up at five in the morning, work all day, drink all night and then make it the next day on four hours of sleep? Well…yeah. You are pretty tough. But you ain’t as tough as our Dinosaur dodging ancestors, so says Peter McAllister, a guy … Read more
The Changing Face of Climate Change
Yeah, Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. So, I mean, that means something, right? Maybe? Hello? What? Sick of Obama? Trust a brother. He’s sick of you, too. However, there are things that he needs to work on and he’s working on them. Oh, yes. He is working on them like a Mother-(Shut your mouth! … Read more
Tomorrow: We Finally Kill The Moon.
If you didn’t know, we are at war with the Moon. Seriously. We are going to shoot the Moon in the butt for all the things it has done to us over the years. I’m serious. You doubt me? Don’t take my word for it. Check out Scientific America: The missile, a Centaur rocket, will … Read more
Are you Getting a Swine Flu Vaccine shot?
It just hit the street today and that joint is hot! HOT! The Swine Flu is coming and it kills people just by looking at them funny. It borrows books and never gives them back. It tells people the end of movies. Swine Flu even eats the last Toaster Struddle that you have been saving … Read more
