Jarvis Slacks
Will District 9 save our Sci-fi Souls?
Let’s be honest. Terminator Salvation was lackluster. Nobody liked Wolverine. And Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was so mind-breaking brilliant that it actually caused people to hate it based off pure fear of the unknown. What are we supposed to love this summer? Well, how about Aliens in South Africa being held there by the … Read more
The British build Robotic Firemen AKA The beginning of the Robotic Uprising
All right, I want to try and make this as clear as possible. The end of the world will happen one of three ways. A) The Zombie Rebellion. B) An Alien Invasion. C) The Robotic Uprising. This isn’t me being paranoid. This is cinamatic fact. Shaun of the Dead? Terminator? Battlestar Galactica? Terminator 2? The … Read more
The Book of Eli Trailer is a good way to start your week.
So, there are a few movies where I create a “Trailer Embargo” for my brain. I’m not allowed to see anything else about The Book of Eli. I can’t watch any more trailers. I can’t read anything about it. I can’t watch any interviews. I can’t even talk about it. There is a movie coming … Read more
Don’t flush it! Save your stool to make flowers! Pretty, pretty flowers!
The world is coming to an end. That isn’t some silly idea or a “possible” scenerio. If we don’t change the way we do business on this planet, Mad Max will seem like a happy weekend at the beach and a certain book we know will be a happy bedtime story we can all tell … Read more
You want to get mad? Watch this moron with her stupid Birth Certificate.
This video was taken at a town-hall meeting in some freaky place that I never want to visit. The lady talking probably eats tiny mice before she goes to work. She wants her country back. And she thinks that President Obama isn’t an American Citizen. Here is a little bit of information about me. When … Read more
Obama wants to stop Antibiotic Abuse. Sorry, everybody. No Zombie-virus anytime soon.
Hey! I don’t know what you guys are trying to do, but I’m working on creating the Zombie Rebellion over here! You think that’s easy? Here’s my plan. A. Take Antibiotics for absolutely no reason. B. Create viruses that can make people walk around when the people are dead. C. Buy a shotgun and shoot … Read more
Did NASA Fake the Moon Landing? Also, what happens to all our socks? I know they are covering that up, too.
So, This Monday will be the 40th Anniversary of the Moon landing! Yes! We walked all over that thing and it was awesome! We brought some rocks back, we planted an American flag, we took some pictures, played some golf, rode around on a golf cart. It was Awesome and we were Americans and we … Read more
Mass Effect 2 Gameplay makes me believe in love.
The other night, I had to defend Mass Effect from a hater-fest that only “Someone” can give. I’m sorry, but Mass Effect 2 looks fantastic, and will be exactly what a sequel should be: a game that improves on the original without losing the original’s power. What I’m mostly concerned about is whether or not … Read more
News Rodeo: Sarah Palin is stupid, Dick Cheney is Evil, Swine Flu attacking the Armed Forces, and Children Masturbating.
And after one of the best weekends of my life, I’m back and hate my life. Huh? If you missed all my NYC adventuring, you’re lucky. On to the news! Did you hear about Sarah Palin? She’s this chick who almost became Vice-President of the United States. That’s not a joke. She really did almost … Read more
The Worst Part is Leaving
I don’t know if I could live here, but I know I can visit. I can’t describe the amount of amazing that this trip was. And the only bad part is that I can’t stay longer.
