New Terminator: Salvation pics and spoilers
"I'm going to ask you one more time: Did you eat the last Toaster Strudel?"
Are you a man? Do you breath? Have you had fantasies where you are in a post-nuke environment and shoot massive amounts of evil dudes? I’m sorry to inform you, but you might be addicted to Terminator stuff. Wired has some “Exclusive” images from the up coming Terminator: Salvation flick. And they even have some spoiler reach material to share. So, yeah, spoiler alert all up in your guts.
“The first film shows Schwarzenegger’s T-800 coming from 2029 back in time,” McG said. “Salvation takes place in 2018, so you see the R&D that went into the T-800. It’s like the polio vaccine: You’ve got to go through a lot of lab rats to get to vaccine. In this film, humans are the lab rats. Skynet is testing on us to figure out how to make a photo-realistic, leaner, smaller, more capable machine — the T-800.”
Don’t feel too bad that you might see too much. Even though I love the Terminator myth, the basic story is always the same: Shoot, Run, yell, scream, shoot some more, fade to black. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that.
The Jarvis Slacks Podcast Number 14: Heat Stroke Edition
Kenneth's deep, dark secret...
This is the best podcast we’ve ever done. Well, maybe not the best. But I laugh way more than I normally do. What’s so funny? How about Facebook emails? Questions from our many fans? What about Kenneth getting a hair cut? And what are we beeping? What are we covering up? When is my birfday? Why was the Resident Evil 5 demo so bad? What? A Halo 3 meet up? Is a heat stroke really that funny? And why do we keep doing these? You know why? Because we are awesome. Listen, learn and enjoy.
“Nazi Zombies” sign saves thousands with early warning
Did you really think I was going to let this happen and not post about it? You don’t know anything about me, do you? The first school of thought is that this was a prank, that some hackers hacked with their hacker-tools and changed the text of the sign. Another school of thought, my school of thought, is that hundreds of thousands of people were saved when they saw this sign and responded correctly. I’m sure you’ve all read the proper text to prepare for this future scenerio. If not, here are some pointers when the Zombie Rebellion finally occurs. 1. Stay in your home and secure the area. 2. Find any weapons possible. 3. Aim for the head, aim for the head, for god’s sake, aim for the head!
Economic-Riots in France
That many people in a crowd, you know someone is peeing...
Imagine that, instead of being happy and giddy during the Inauguration, those 2 million people instead protested the horrible economy. That’s just about what is happening in France right now. From BBC:
Huge crowds have taken to the streets in France to protest over the handling of the economic crisis, causing disruption to rail and air services. Unions said 2.5m workers had rallied to demand action to protect wages and jobs. Police put the total at 1m.President Nicolas Sarkozy said concerns over the crisis were legitimate and the government had to listen and act. He will meet union and business leaders next month to discuss what programme of reforms to follow this year, he said. Overall, the government estimated that a quarter of the country’s public sector workers had joined the action, which was called by eight major French unions. The unions put the figure higher. A spokesman for the CGT union told AFP that 2.5m people across the country had taken part in the day’s protests. French police put the number at just over 1m.
The world isn’t ending and the sky isn’t falling. But it is super-duper windy outside right now…
Resident Evil 5 Demo Impressions
Who wants a bullet in the face? No one? Good, cause I'm empty.
I didn’t like the Resident Evil 5 Demo. I’m sure this will go over very well with you readers. Half of you don’t play games, half of you hate me, and the other half don’t speak English. Yes, I know that equals 150%. Think of it this way: I don’t like eating sushi. I’m not a fan of sushi. If I had a choice between sushi and a hamburger, I would and have choosen the hamburger. Same thing with Resident Evil. Its gross. Here are some of my thoughts on the demo.
-The over-the-shoulder feel is classic. Resident Evil perfected this, and games like Gears of War and Dead Space have actively stolen it. You hold “A” to run faster, you hold the left trigger to pull up the aim and fire, you shoot with the right trigger, you pull up the menu with the “Y”, all that good stuff. It works, and it feels tight. There is even a “Quick-Turn” option that lets you turn around and scream and run like a little girl. The controls are a little weird. It feels like there is either a delay, or it could be that I’m not use to it yet. I talked to some people about how it felt like a Playstation game, and that the Xbox controller was set up in the wrong way. Whatever it was, it made the combat stressful and tense. I guess that’s the point. (more…)
Gaze Upon World War Z Concept Art.
So Awesome.
Once again, io9 has proven why they are such an oasis, a virtual river, of Sci-fi news. The image above is the concept art for the movie World War Z, which is of course based off the incredible book. This is the concept art depicting the Battle of Yonkers, when the military finally realizes the true power of the Zombie Rebellion. io9 even got a damn interview with the artist! The Bastards.
Right there my eyes shot open and I knew I had to do it. So I sketched out my idea and started working. Two hours into it, I knew I was in deep waters and felt as if I couldnt finish it. Way too many characters (Sorry for the ones who expected me to draw every single marine!) and just so much chaos, it just intimidated me. Thankfully for two awesome friends, a very supporting girlfriend, a German manager and my cat’s undying company I just worked my heart off. And hopefully it shows. As for whats going on with the movie and myself? I’ve heard back recently, but I can’t disclose any information at this time as I feel it is not my place. Yet.
You hear that? Yet.
John Updike is Dead. Long Live John Updike.
Mr. Updike passed away. Cancer was the cause. This is what the New York Times had to say:
John Updike, the kaleidoscopically gifted writer whose quartet of Rabbit Angstrom novels highlighted so vast and protean a body of fiction, verse, essays and criticism as to place him in the first rank of among American men of letters, died on Tuesday. He was 76 and lived in Beverly Farms, Mass.
I respect Mr. Updike. He’s published more books and stories than most men can ever dream of. His writing touched the soul easily, flowed in the proper way and connected without the silly effort of tired plot lines or contrived sentences. He truly was the best. But don’t trust my words, trust his.
“I don’t know what I’d do with my mornings if I didn’t write in them,” Updike says in a telephone interview from his home in Beverly, Mass. “There are pleasures to writing — you kind of get out a lot of your bad secretions. You can purge yourself of them through writing. And there’s still some market for what I have to say. On the other hand, I notice some signs of mental deterioration. My memory isn’t as good; I can’t think of words. I might forget what one character’s eyes are. Maybe each novel might be the last — but no, I’m not quite ready yet. There’s still the illusion that I’m still learning this curious trade, for which there’s very little coherent instruction. I never once believed in writing schools; this is very much an amateurish endeavor, so that the chance of growing in it is still there for a 76-year-old.”
Impressions: The Good Night
The Good Night is a really, really funny movie. Its also really good. I know that isn’t as descriptive as it should be. Shut up. Ok, fine. I’ll write a great, descriptive sentence that will encompass my true feelings. The Good Night is one of those films that shallow the desperation and anger that long-term relationships cause, while also showing why long-term relationships are vital, important and refreshing. That better? Man, its like you want my soul sometimes. Huh? What is it about? Damn it. Take your average male character that used to be in a band and make him work in a jingle-producing advertising factory (Gary). Make his best friend an ass (Paul). Make his girlfriend a naggy bitch (Dora) and then add Danny Devito. Let Jake Paltrow direct. Stir for taste. Norman finds solace by accident. He has a re-occuring dream of a beautiful, kind woman. She not only supports his creativity, but she also enjoys his stale humor, likes laying on the beach and doing absolutly nothing. There are also strange “Love-ins” that make you sort of wonder exactly why Penelope Cruz keeps taking these super-bizarre roles. God bless her for it, though. Once again, Penelope Cruz saves the movie and makes it immensely interesting. Simon Pegg is also, of course, genius. His character is arrogant and uncompromising, making it a different take for Pegg. But he delivers a brilliant line, while having a fight with his ex-girlfriend. Danny Devito? Yeah, he needs to act more. Way more. A Walberg even guest-stars. This movie makes it easy to understand why someone would want to run from their real lives. Thankfully, it also shows why we can’t ever really do that. Not for long, anyway. Matt Freeman and Gwen Paltrow are the leads in this, but it never feels like it with Gwen. She feels like a visitor, and seems a bit happy when it is all over. But aren’t all relationships like that? No, they aren’t. You see that? I just answered my own question.
Needed: A Stimulus Package for Reading (Updated)
"Ow, what is this? My head...is this what learning feels like?"
As a dude that deals with young people a lot, I know that people aren’t reading as much as they used to. Let me change that. People aren’t reading at all. Yes, you might be reading this blog right now, but, really? You’ll be done with this before you finish stirring the sugar into your coffee. Reading means holding a BOOK and reading the stuff inside it until it makes sense. It takes a few days. Maybe even a week. And sorry, no, there aren’t any links to all your extremity needs in books. At least, no yet. Katha Pollit has a good write-up on the Nation expressing these key concerns:
Newspapers are crashing all around us, and one of the things they are doing, in a desperate bid to save money, is cutting back their Sunday book review sections: the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune and Hartford Courant have all reduced their book sections. Recent rumblings from the Washington Post suggest that new executive editor Marcus Brauchli may close down Book World, leaving The New York Times Book Review as the last remaining stand-alone section devoted to books. Before long you won’t even know about the books that you can’t afford to buy and that the library can’t afford to stock.
There are a number of things that can help with this situation: funding for libraries, a cheap bailout for the print media and a public-awareness program for new written works. I constantly have the conversation that people aren’t reading either because of evolution or laziness. I can’t tell if we are evolving into a higher level of being, or if we are desolving into uncurious, deformed, fat slobs. Thankfully, I’ll be good and dead before I see the end result.
Update: I misspelled “Stimulus” cause I’m a moron.
News Rodeo: Iceland Riots, Gaza Tunnels and the Obama Dolls.
I know you don’t care about this stuff. And I don’t care that you don’t care. But, hey, you’re the one reading it. We all know the economy is in the tanker. That isn’t new. But how are other countries handling it? Yes, there are other countries besides America. I know I just blew open your brain right there. Iceland protested and, wow, actually got results. Their Prime Minister resigned. Remember when Americans use to protest? Yeah, me neither. From C double Ny:
Just...let's not get into this.
In his resignation letter, Sigurdsson said that after the country’s financial crash, he had hoped that the government would re-create trust and restore the country’s finances. But he said the effort had failed, and he was resigning to help facilitate a restoration of public trust
Heads rolling. In other news, it looks like the Israelis and the Hamas dudes have reached a very tiny cease-fire. A certain home-boy of ours may have had something to do with that. But it might not last if those cats over there don’t stop making these tunnels. Huh? What? Tunnels? From the Washington Post:
Some of the tunnels are poorly concealed by white tents that line the border about 70 yards north of a gray concrete fence topped with barbed wire. But much of the tunneling is done in plain sight, during daylight hours. Delivery trucks circled the area to pick up newly smuggled goods to distribute to other cities. Masri said his tunnel is used to transport basic food staples and other items. It took 15 workers three months to complete, he said, and required an investment of $70,000.
It is 2009, and people dig smuggling tunnels. I can not wait for the Mad Maxx days to start! I’m gonna put a rocket-launcher on my bicycle. A rocket-launcher on the handle bars of my bicycle. Finally, Obama dolls. I’m series. Somebody thought it was a good idea to make dolls based of the wonderful Obama girls, Sasha and Malia. Rents gotta get paid, even if you have to exploit two little girls. From the New York Times:
“They are beautiful names,” Tania Lundeen, a spokeswoman for Ty, said in an interview with The Associated Press. But, “there’s nothing on the girls that refers to the Obama girls,” she said. But what about the fact that in addition to sharing unusual names, Sweet Sasha and Marvelous Malia are slender brown-skinned and brown-eyed dolls that bear a resemblance to the 7- and 10-year-old darlings who just moved into the White House? “It would not be fair to say they are exact replications of these girls,” Ms. Lundeen told The A.P.
Geez. Making these aren’t stupid. BUYING these dolls is what’s really insane. Do children even play with dolls anymore? Don’t they just get on myspace and flirt with FBI agents pretending to be kiddie-stalkers? Have I gone too far?
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