THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JARVIS SLACKS

The conflict in the Middle East is actually being called a war now.  Man, didn’t that just start a few days ago?  Happy New Years.  Hopefully we’ll make it to 2010.  One of my favorite foreign policy dudes, Zbigniew Brzezinski, discussed the problem with Nathan Gardels of the Huffington Post.  Its nice to hear that there is an actual solution to the problem, if someone had the skill and intentions to impliment it.

By now it should be quite evident that the two parties to the conflict will never reach an agreement on their own. The Palestinians are divided, which complicates their ability to negotiate effectively. The Israelis are reluctant to move forward with a compromise deal because some feel comfortable with the status quo while others are quietly using the stalemate to expand settlements in the West Bank. The only way, therefore, to move forward is for the international community, led by the United States, to put on the table the framework of an eventual agreement.

Peep the rest of the article here, and cross your fingers that people start acting like they have some common sense.

This is what your kids will look like if you marry your first cousin!

Its official.  That hot first cousin you have that you think is hot but you can’t say she’s hot because she’s your first cousin and that’s gross?  You can now marry her.  Scientists say you can, so it must be ok! From Wired:

Whatever their motivations, the laws are not supported by science. According to the National Society of Genetic Counselors, birth defects are 2 to 3 percent more common in children born to first cousins than among the general population — a real risk, but not enough to justify the bans. “It’s a form of discrimination that nobody talks about. People worry about not getting health insurance — but saying that someone shouldn’t marry based on how they’re related, when there’s no known harm, to me is a form of discrimination,” said Robin Bennett, a University of Washington genetic counselor who led the NSGC study.

There is a reason why marrying first cousins is against the law.  Its gross.  And its a little lazy.  Go out and try to find someone that isn’t at a family cook out.  And how do you explain to your future kids that your mother is their grandmother and their great-aunt, and that your sister is their aunt and their second cousin?  Let’s just stop the madness right now.

How can one guy screw up the world so badly?

As President Bush (God, I hate calling him that) finally leaves office, it looks like the Europeans will be bailing us out from some of his mistakes.  No, I’m not talking about more money, even though that would be nice.  I’m talking about the horrible and ethical mistake that is Guantanamo Bay.  Fresh from the Washington Post:

The willingness to consider accepting prisoners who cannot be returned to their home countries, because of fears they may be tortured there, represents a major change in attitude on the part of European governments. Repeated requests from the Bush administration that European allies accept some Guantanamo Bay detainees received only refusals. The Bush administration “produced the problem,” Karsten Voigt, coordinator of German-American cooperation at the German Foreign Ministry, said in a telephone interview. “With Obama, the difference is that he tries to solve it.”

This problem is not going away anytime soon.  Expect to hear about lawsuits from the prisoners in a few years, followed by investigations and allegations.  Could major high-lords of the Bush Administration face criminal charges?  Yeah, right.  We voted for change, not dillusions.

Wow. A show about hot, rich white girls. Completely original.

Its funny.  Since I received this “cable” thing and started “watching television” again, I’ve avoided MTV all together.  I have absolutely no idea what channel it is on, and I can say without any doubt that I’ve never watched any of it this year.  I’m not surprised that MTV’s ratings have dropped.  You know what MTV use to show?  Music videos.  I know right!  I use to watch it when they showed music videos because I wanted to keep up on the music young people watch…I mean listen to…whatever.  To boost their sagging ratings, MTV has decided to do MORE of what I hate: Reality TV.  But its Obama reality television, that speaks to young people who didn’t want to vote for McCain and his little monster.  From Variety:

“Our new shows will feature themes of affirmation and accomplishment,” says Brian Graden, prez of entertainment at MTV Networks music channels and president of Logo. “Our shows are going to focus less on loud and silly hooks and more on young people proving themselves. These are themes that are consistent with the Obama generation.”

Do you really want to know what the “Obama Generation” is into?  Music videos.  When MTV wants to start showing those again, we’ll be here.