The 10 PM Podcast: Geek Card Edition
"Don't you wish your girl was hot like me..."
So, exactly why does Tom K have a crush on a mail carrier? I mean, they carry mail all day. How cute can they be? And what is up with Tyler having a birthday on one day but telling people it is actually on another day? And Nate Kowal doesn’t want to see Transformers 2? And he’s never seen Transformers Uno? What in the world is going on with this podcast? Well, we do have a pretty good conversation about what makes a game have long legs. Long legs like a mail carrier. No, no, no. Not those kinds of legs! Like, what makes a game a go-to for constant enjoyment? What makes us play the same game for years? That’s what I’m talking about. Like always, we try to figure stuff out, while making fun of each other at the same time. Please join Tyler Childs, Tom Kennedy and Nate Kowal of Best Gamepad Ever fame as we waste your time for you. Listen. Learn. Enjoy
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A Good Representation of the Black Community
Yeah, that grin is sort of creepy. But still.
I like Roland Martin. I always have. He speaks for and about the black community in a way that, well, in a way that doesn’t make us look like idiots. Turns out, other people think the same thing. He’s getting his very on Sunday talk show. No, it ain’t on CNN of MSNBC. But, you know, baby steps and all that. From The Huffington Post:
Martin, who is also a CNN commentator, will interview newsmakers and members of the Congressional Black Caucus. [TV One President] Jonathan Rodgers said it dawned on him when TV One covered last year’s Democratic convention and he saw many Black Caucus members trudge up to the network’s temporary rooftop studio for interviews: These politicians have few outlets to talk about their issues and people have few places to hear them. ”I hope to get smart, intelligent, entertaining conversation,” Rodgers said, “but I put this under the public affairs arena. It doesn’t have to be a ratings success.
Just because we have a Black President doesn’t mean that race relations are all said and done. But this is an excellent chance to prove that there is an entire generation of black men and women that are educated and motivated. Unlike some people we might know.
Five Things That Men Need to Stop Doing
God, you look stupid.
The Half-Tuck: Who invented this? I know who. It was some famous guy who was late for an interview. He tucked his shirt half way in and decided “Screw it” and showed up for the photo-op looking like either a hobo or an indecisive monkey. This embarassing fade hasn’t faded. I saw a guy wearing $100 dollar jeans with a fifty dollar polo-shirt tucked in the front and loose like a mullet in the back. What? Does having your shirt tucked in the front keep your genitals warm? Is that what you’re doing? Warming your genitals?
Being stupid: Try reading a book, guys. It isn’t hard. Or, how about watching the news once in a while. It wouldn’t hurt you to know about your local politics. And how about you, you know, read a newspaper and know what happened last week in the news. Seriously. You guys are stupid. When people ask you what is going on in the world, you say that you were on Facebook the other day and a buddy said something funny. I like Facebook. But it isn’t a credible source of information that you can use to engage with others about social and political happenings on this planet. And talking about Michael Jackson isn’t as important as the riots and protest in Iran and Honduras. Honduras? The country? The congress there kicked out their President. You didn’t know that, did you? You know why? Because you’re a moron.
When you think of Douche bag, think of Mark Sanford.
Cheating: So you ask a girl out. You take her out on countless dates that cost you thousands of dollars. You decide to be in a relationship. You meet all her family and friends, you compromise, you struggle, you be the best man you can and then you cheat on your girl and then you get mad when she finds out and she gets upset. Come on, guys. No one on this planet has had a positive experience by cheating on someone. At best, you look immature and moronic. At worst, you should be buried up to your neck in hot ant-filled sand and then rubbed with peanut butter.
Using “Product”: Do you realize how stupid you look? I mean, do you?
Being a man: Let’s just stop doing it. We’ve been trying to “Be a man” for a while now and it isn’t working. We can’t cry. We can’t wear pink. We have to like meat, pick-up trucks, swords, kung-fu fighting and Guns and Roses. ”Being a Man” is a trick. It is like telling a woman to “Be a woman.” Try telling a woman to do that and see if you come back out of all that with both your arms. ”Being a man” hasn’t worked. I say we just give it up and head to Starbucks and get a Mocha Frap. And I hate Starbucks.
4,318 lost soldiers later, We Leave: The Spinning Down of the Iraq War.
Wow. We’re really leaving.
Here are a few facts to let you have some context. 4,318 United States soldiers have been killed in US combat in Iraq. 31,368 United States soldiers have been wounded in US combat in Iraq. For what? Yeah. Great question. I would quote the money facts, too. But that isn’t important to me. Today we left Iraq’s cities and pulled back to the bases. If they need us, they’ll call. And they’ll probably need us. The Iraqi people are happy about it, and they should be. CNN has a pretty good article on it. I’ve never agreed with the Iraq war. Their last leader was, yeah, a total sack of dog stuff. But we shouldn’t have let him be hung up. And we didn’t go there to liberate anyone. There are plenty of countries that were worse off that we didn’t worry about (cough, cough, Africa, cough, cough). We went there for the wrong reasons and it is time to get the hell out. But I can’t get over the feeling that the worse is yet to come, and that we’ll be seeing more and more bad news coming out of there before we get some good news. I could be wrong and I really hope I am. But, man. 4,318. I hate that number.
Shouting Match: Off the Wall vs. Thriller
You should always be careful of the company you keep.
These are the questions that shape men’s minds. Michael Jackson is dead. Did you know that? I was stuck on the Red line in DC when, once I was out the underground tunnels, I was bombarded with texts and emails telling me that the King of Pop not only died, but he died of something or other and that aliens were involved. Like most of you, I was left with a strange feeling. It was almost like someone told me that Oak trees wouldn’t be around anymore, or that I could no longer have Mint-chocolate chip Ice cream. A huge chuck of the world died off and fell into the abyss. And the part that fell off was a piece of the world that liked plastic surgery, had his hair caught on fire at a Pepsi concert, and was “accused” of often sleeping with little boys. These are facts! And now we all have to sit around and wonder whether he’s worth discussion. Of course he’s not worth discussion. Nothing entertaining is worth discussion. That makes the discussing that much more pleasuable.
Heres the real question. Which album is better? ”Off the Wall,” or “Thriller”? “Off the Wall” is shorter, more focused, with a much more dance oriented agenda. This Michael just wants you to shake that body. Shake it hard. ”Thriller” is a bit of a mix mash, with some classics but some oddities. ”Beat it” and “Thriller” are just bad songs. I’m serious. They just aren’t very good. But then you have the beauty of “Billie Jean” and “PYT” and you start to see the true Michael Jackson, the one with soul to spare. Which one is better? I’ll let you debate until your back hurts. Leave a comment and do something nice for someone this afternoon. Buy a kitten and give it to an old lady. Stuff like that.
Check out the “9″ trailer.
I normally don’t care about these little cartoon, live action, digital, weird Tim Burton things. I would rather do something else. Like sleep. Or go to the bathroom. However, 9 seems amazing. Puppets are the only thing alive at the end of the world, and they have to protect the world from the monsters that destroyed it. Just really innovative looking and dynamic. Peep the trailer. Did I say good morning? Good morning.
Transformers-Revenge of the Fallen: Impressions
The only problem with Michael Bay’s masterpiece, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, is that it is too full of awesome.
That’s a vague assessment, but it is a true one. I09 has a much more elaborate and Freudian take on the movie, but I don’t really feel like thinking that hard. The new Transformers is a good movie because it is completely and utterly an original monster. You have never seen a movie like this before. Ever. There are robots the size of houses fighting each other. And they aren’t just fighting each other. They are beating each other to a point where I want to say that the violence is too much. It is clear when you see the combat. Autobots and Decepticons hate each other more than any two foes have ever hated. They kick and claw and shoot with passion and lust in their eyes. It is unreal to see and I almost peed myself. I almost peed myself twice. But, I don’t want to go insane too fast, and the action isn’t the only thing that makes it a good flick. With this movie, Michael Bay has solidified himself as being the only director that could ever do justice to Transformers. There has to be a reward somewhere for that. Spoiler ahead. Lots and lots of spoilers ahead.
Life After the MFA: Brain bits
Stuff you probably don’t know about me.
-I work two jobs. Both of them are part time. One is at a book store right down from my house. I help people find books. I put up the books. I also can make you a pretty mean latte, frapp, cap, MMCFL, A Chai tea latte or a espresso shot. Making an espresso shot involves me walking over to the espresso machine and pushing a button. And if you need a book, and you have no idea what the title is or who wrote it, I can find it for you. Just give me a minute. What is the book about? When was it published? Do you have any idea what it looks like? I can get a picture of the book for you on the computer. Is this the book? Yes, we have this book in stock. Let me find it for you. Here it is. I’m happy and you’re happy when this happens. Then, twenty minutes later, I will find the book I found for you under a chair or on the bar or in the sex section. And I will curse and then put the book in the right place. I will find books that are in the wrong place and put them back in the right place. I work at a book store. This is my job. (more…)
Need a Job? Give up your Facebook password. Seriously.
Yep. Still Watching us.
Yeah, you need a job. We all need a job. This isn’t new. But what are you willing to give up? Are you willing to let your boss all over Facebook? Myspace? Twitter-Twat? Would you give your boss your passwords and usernames? Isn’t that almost like giving a mugger the knife that you are holding in your pocket and asking the mugger, “Hey, please, stab me in my liver stuff!” Well, welcome to the future boys and ladies. From Cnn’s Scitechblog:
“Before we offer people employment in a public trust position, we have a responsibility to do a thorough background check,” [Assistant City Manager] Chuck Winn told CNET on Thursday. “Shame on us if there was information out there available about a person who applied for a job who was a child molester or had some sort of information out there on the Internet that kind of showed those propensities and we didn’t look for it, we didn’t ask, and we hired that person,” Winn said. “In many ways we would have let the public down.”
Shame on you for being nosey! But, for serious, I’ve applied for a few jobs where I had to tell the employer if I posted anything “crazy” and “weird” on the Internet. I mentioned this blog and, hey, what do you know! I didn’t get the job! Your Internet identity is just as important and just as prevalent as your true identity. Be careful what you sign. Even without passwords, a boss can still get into your profiles if you sign the right, or wrong, forms. Man. God forbid if an employer looks at my updates!
8:45: God, I never should have eaten that sandwich. I think the meat was moving.
8:50: Battlestar Galactica! Battlestar Galactica! I want you in my pants!
9:00: Megan Fox. Stop looking at me with those eyes. I know you are a Decepticon!
9:10: All right! Time to take a dump!
Yeah. I’m sure those are all things an employer is looking for.
News Rodeo: Glenn Beck is Stupid, Plastic Hands, and Michael Bay’s Genius Brain.
"I hate twitter, mainly because I can't text. You know, cause of the plastic hand. Don't judge me"
Yep. I am going to avoid saying, “The Revolution Will be Televised” because every talking head and pundit on the tubes has said that bullshit for the last few days. However, it does look like we are seeing the beginnings of a different Iran, one where people wear lots of green and use twitter to the point of being pretty freaking amazing. Yes, I’m fully aware that twitter and the internet helped these people communicate and organize. I’m also aware that twitter fans have started using Twitter’s latest application as justification to post about what they are having for breakfast. Yes, I do it too. I can’t help it. My life is more interesting than yours. Anyway, it looks like the revolution is over. Iran’s Supreme Leader has said that the election wasn’t rigged, if it was rigged, so what, and you guys lost so go home or we start shooting people in faces and other body parts. Regardless of who is right and who is wrong, hopefully this can all end peacefully. Oh, and did you know the Supreme Leader has a fake hand? I mean, how bad ass is that? Anyway…
In other news, Health care. Obama wants to fix it. Other people think it will cost way too much money. Here is Rachel Maddow’s sexy ass talking about it.
And here is a complete moron chanting and speaking in tongues about 2012 and the Mexican End-of-the-World situation. Oh, wait. It’s just Glenn Beck.
Apparantly, if you have the stomach to watch that video, we are the losers with this health care plan. I mean, I don’t want to lose my health care. I don’t want my rates to go up. I don’t want to pay for coverage I don’t need…wait…oh, I’m sorry. I keep forgetting. I’M POOR! I haven’t had health care since 2005. I’m serious. When I get sick, I take some aspirin, say a quick pray, and put a bunch of blankets over my head and sweat that shit out. Man, Glenn Beck is a moron.
Let’s move on to something far more important. Next week, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, finally comes to the big screen in all of it’s magnificent glory. People can speak ill about Michael Bay and his genius brain all they want. No one makes a better action movie. How can you not want to see this? They are giant robots on the screen. There are giant robots hitting other giant robots! It is everything I’ve ever wanted out of life and Michael Bay is giving it to me because he loves me so much. I mean, look at this scene! I want it inside my body! I want it inside of me right now!
It is the small things that make you happy, that forces you to get out of bed and go to work and make that money. Always remember: We are Americas. And we like cars and things blowing up.
